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Article by The Desk · 28 July 2026
Sepia press photograph of a wet platform in gloomy weather
Forecasters, unable to agree on whether Thursday counts as rain, released a bulletin describing conditions as "damp in spirit" and advised residents to dress for whatever they believe in.
Article by E. Doge
The harbour authority voted to replace the pier's final human lighthouse keeper with a sensor the size of a lunchbox. He has declined to leave, citing forty-one years of service and a strong opinion about the fog.
Article by G. Weasley
Four hours of public comment on the downtown parking overhaul ended with a resolution to form a committee that will recommend when the council should next discuss forming a committee.
Article by The Desk
A tabby known locally as Magistrate has occupied the roof of a parked 1961 saloon for eleven consecutive days. The car's owner has begun taking the bus rather than negotiate.
One dispatch a week: the headlines that mattered, the ones that didn't, and a remark we probably shouldn't have printed.