Headline Tees
Wear a front page. Heavyweight cotton, ink-black print, our worst pun across the chest.
Coming soon
News · Opinion · Humor
Bringing you sharper headlines since this morning
Classified notice
We are setting type on a small shop — shirts, prints and mugs carrying the headlines and remarks from this paper. It will live on Etsy and Printify. Until the presses are warm, the notices below are all we can legally promise.
Wear a front page. Heavyweight cotton, ink-black print, our worst pun across the chest.
Coming soon
Any story from the archive, aged and mounted. Ideal for a hallway that needs an opinion.
Coming soon
One pithy remark per vessel. Dishwasher safe, socially hazardous.
Coming soon
Full-size reproductions of the front page, suitable for framing or wrapping fish.
Coming soon
One dispatch a week: the headlines that mattered, the ones that didn't, and a remark we probably shouldn't have printed.